Coronavirus Cackles


#41

Watch the stock market dive during his declaration.


#42

Fed’s looking at lowering their rate again to near zero.


#43

Gee, what’s his hurry? China is already starting to reopen some businesses, which could be a good sign…


#44


#45

So, OliverChlotheshoffe was one of the first to go, then.


#46

From an FB friend

So, I’m at Dollar Tree, minding my own business, and stupidly ask one of the employees, “I don’t suppose you have any sanitizer wipes left?” She looks at me sideways, then says under her breath, “Come with me.”

She leads me to a dark corner next to hair ribbons and beef jerky and shows me a display of sanitary wipe travel packs. With eyes like saucers, I grab a fistful, and yell, “Start the car!” to no one in particular.

I regain my composure somewhat and start to head for the checkout counter, when she stops me. In a hushed tone usually reserved for catty women gossiping, she says, “I’ve got a case of the big ones in the back. How many do you want?” Right then and there, we make up a secret handshake. I think to myself, “This is it! This is the redemption you’ve been waiting for after all the horrible cards life has dealt you.” But I begin to feel guilty that I was the only one she shared her secrets with, so I said “Just one, I guess.”

She comes out of the back room with the loot and hands it to me behind her back while we share “the look.” I haven’t had that excited/guilty feeling since I bought pot off of Rocky Hollister in junior high in the tunnel under the train tressel. I could feel the mix of envy and distain from the other shoppers as I paid for my coveted items and dashed out of there like a sorry/not sorry bank robber.

Moral of the story: Stay away from Costco.


#47

#48


#49

In which he said “I didn’t shut down the pandemic response team in 2018, I don’t know anything about it, that’s a nasty question” and cut the mic


#50

image


#51

#52


#53

image


#54


#55

Mm, I prefer Quaranteens.


#56


#57


#58

Swiped and reposted that one.

It’ll lead into stories told years
from now, in hushed tones, to
children.


#59

Ewwwww!


#60