Sorry to bother you with this this bullshit, but I may not be posting much after today.
The last 4 days have been the worst since this all started back in November. The chemo and radiation is taking a tremendous toll on me. I haven’t eaten in 5 days now and am having trouble keeping anything down due to both the pain in my esophagus and nausea … even a few sips of water. The problem with that is… since I can’t keep water down I can’t keep any of the pain or nausea meds down. I puke them up almost immediately. My oncologist gave me a suppository for nausea medication and a sublingual pain med and I’ll see how that goes. I am vomiting about 50 times a day now… mostly mucous and water… which gives me about 30 minutes of relief.
As it is now, food is the farthest thing from my mind. I am dying of thirst though. I drink ice cold water just because I crave it so badly… knowing it’s going to be extremely painful and will mostly be coming right back up. I’m literally having dreams of guzzling water from half frozen milk jugs or kneeling over a snow fed stream guzzling water. If the suppository and sublingual’s don’t help, I’m going to have to have my wife take me to UC or ER for a 12 hour hydration drip and maybe the dreaded feeding tube.
I’m so desperate for a drink, I stopped by a 7-11 and bought a fukking banana Slurpee. I’m going to try to eat a little bit of this lovely frozen concoction if it takes all day.
