Doctors, am I right?


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#4

A Short Hot Love Story

.

I shall seek and find you… I shall take you to bed and control you… I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and groan… I will make you beg for mercy… I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I leave you… And you will be weak for days. All my love, The Flu


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#7

Apey with the assist

.


#8

I fell on my arm and had to have

an operation on my funny bone. I was in stitches for two weeks.


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#11

What’s the worst thing about getting a lung transplant?

The first couple of times you cough, it’s not your phlegm.


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#13

Did you hear about the man who collapsed at the top of the ferris wheel?
Doctors say he’s slowly coming around.


#14

Ask your Medication, if this Doctor is smart enough for you.

https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/19510538_10211973057275549_5153797413281416831_n.jpg?oh=66cc623ab470cbe33cd22684380d09dd&oe=59D80AAB

Paging DR Noah Lott!


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https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p480x480/19437498_458497764491281_8410662090539082751_n.png?oh=cb643a3e2fe8f3400e8ef2451aa9f196&oe=59C92C1C


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#17

Last week I got eczema, diarrhea, and hemorrhoids.

It was the first time I ever won a game of Scrabble.


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#19

During my check-up I asked my doctor, “Do you think I’ll live a long and healthy live?”

He replied, "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus right now.”

I said, "I don’t believe in any of that astrology bullshit, doc.”

“Neither do I,” he replied. "My thermometer just broke.”


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#21

An old physician, Doctor Gordon Geezer, became very bored in retirement and decided to re-open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer’s clinic. Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured, get back $1,000.

Doctor Digger Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic.

Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?”

Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”

Dr. Young: 'Aaagh! – This is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations!

You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”

Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”

Dr. Young: “Oh, no you don’t – that is Gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak — I can hardly see anything!”

Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so, “Here’s your $1000 back” (giving him a $10 bill).

Dr. Young: “But this is only $10!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”

Moral of story – Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an “old Geezer”

Remember: Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off.

ENJOY YOUR DAY!!!


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