I only read the left side cuz small print.
But it pales in comparison to a moment I had in 1964 at Ft Rucker. A WAC captain was marching a platoon of WACs down the street so I stopped to watch. They were doing the girl version of Jody Calls, counting cadence and such. And at one point the captain hollered, "come ON, ladies...there is 54 and a half MILES of swingin' dick on this base, and if you bitches don't shape up...you won't be seein' the first INCH of it this weekend."