Sporting humor

I had left a pair of 49ers tickets for a game at Levi’s Stadium on my dashboard yesterday. Last night some jerk smashed my windshield and left four more.

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It’s a good thing Gatorade was invented at the University of Florida and not Florida State University.

Because then it would have been Seminole fluid.

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https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p480x480/16105989_1219154351508909_4174998537419751301_n.jpg?oh=b1e1bbe99b77edc9d22254bb358eddfd&oe=591895A5

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Went to the first baseball game of the year with my wife yesterday
We made a deal so that after every pitch, I would kiss her on the strikes and she would kiss me on the balls.

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Humor thread, humor board. Play along or GTFO

Keyword

Bueller?
Anyone?

SPORTING

Tent city fer you - besides the pic is funny so that’s humor

While golfing, I took a quick turn to avoid hitting a chuck hole, and accidentally overturned my golf cart.

A very beautiful and attractive golfer, who lived right there on the edge of the golf course, heard the noise, came running out of her villa and shouted, “Are you okay?”

As I looked up I noticed she was wearing only a silky see through bath robe which was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a VERY nice figure.

“I’m okay I think,” I replied as I pulled myself out from under the twisted cart.

She said, " Please follow me to my villa so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head, then you can rest a while, and I’ll help you upright the cart later.”

“That’s mighty nice of you,” I answered, but I don’t think my wife will like me doing that!

“Oh, come on now,” she insisted. " We need to see if you have any more scrapes and treat them if so". Well, after all, she was really pretty, and very, very persuasive.

Being sort of shaken and weak, I finally agreed, but repeated, “I’m sure my wife won’t like this.”

We walked to her place just a 100 yards away, and after a couple of Scotch and waters and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, “I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset, so I’d better go now.”

“Don’t be silly!” she said with a smile, letting her robe fall even more open “Stay for a while. She won’t know anything, and by the way, where is she?”

I replied, “Still under the cart, I guess.”

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wut

https://scontent-ort2-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/21034365_1428572207180411_2085654784135581135_n.png?oh=ae45c57dbbe284af0eaf36846107319a&oe=5A31C3AC

The Cleveland Browns team visited an orphanage today.
“It’s heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said Jose, age 6.