Tasteless but still funny


#1

Q: Who’s the most popular man in a nudist colony?
A: The one who can carry 2 cups of coffee plus 9 doughnuts at the same time.

Q: Who’s the most popular woman in a nudist colony?
A: The one who can eat the last doughnut !!

A man walks in to the doctors and says, “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m addicted to Twitter”.
The doctor looks at him and says, "Sorry, I don’t follow you”.

Q: What’s the world’s most dangerous ocean?
A: Hepatitis C.

Q: What’s the world’s most dangerous insect?
A: Hepatitis B.

Q: What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop?
A: Dr. Dre

Did you hear about the shortsighted mohel?
Apparently he got the sack!

I’ve trained the dog to bring me a glass of red wine. It’s a Bordeaux collie.

Q. What do you get if you cross PrinceCharles and Queen Elizabeth?
A. Killed in a tunnel…

Two newlyweds go to a fine hotel. The husband walks up to the desk clerk and says “My wife and I just got married, and would like a room for the night”. The clerk says “Do you want our bridal”. The husband says, "Nah. I’ll just hold onto her by the ears until she gets the hang of it”.

Q: What does someone with a thick Spanish accent and very small hands use to cut pizza?
A: Little Caesars.

I went to the doctor the other day for a routine checkup. After a while he told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked him why since it surely couldn’t be bad for my health. He replied "no no its perfectly healthy… It’s just distracting.”

Q: What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
A: One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

Q: What’s the first thing a Blond asks when she wakes up in the morning?
A: Are you guys on the same team?

Q; What do yo call a naked blonde doing a head stand?
A: A Brunette with bad breath


#2

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She replied, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!”

I said, “Wow!”

Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”


#3

#4

I am getting on in years and not the best looking guy anymore.

Some would even say I’m a little frayed around the edges. But, I have a nice car, a little money and I spend most of my time casually traveling from place to place and enjoying life.

I met a nice looking girl in a park the other evening. There was an instant spark between us. And all of a sudden, she did this cute little dance, then immediately dropped to her knees and lay on the grass at my feet.

As we lay there making love, I thought …
“Wow, these Tasers are really worth the money!!!”


#5

#6

#7

Scene: a doctor’s office.

Doctor: I bet you can’t guess my sign.
Patient: Aquarius?
Doctor: Nope!
Patient: Gemini?
Doctor: Guess again!
Patient: Pisces?
Doctor: Not right!
Patient: Cancer?
Doctor: You got it! Oh, and speaking of which…


#8

This one’s for Roose.


#9

Perhaps not LITERALLY tasteless, but there you go…


#10

Q: What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?

A: Don’t ask BillyBob, he’s been banned from the petting zoo.


#11

In a recent poll, 80% of Japanese women admitted to having faked origami.

I called my wife a whore once during sex. She made me pay for that afterwards.

During a performance at a concert hall in Bermuda last night, the man playing the triangle disappeared.


#12

Not all of them.


#13

Right, because my use of the singular article implies the entire set of them, at least to you.


#14

Wee Willy seems have the rigid all or nothing thought styling’s peculiar to most contards.


#15

Wow, you guys are soooo sensitive. I merely pointed out that BillyBob was not banned from all of them. You like to read into things which are not there.


#16

Figures Roose would like the rape joke.


#17

So it was one of your usual non-sequiturs, then.


#18

Not at all, Billy was entirely on topic and responded to your previous post. You’re getting desperate lately.


#19

https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/181365_10150978418099674_1595414504_n.jpg?oh=10e7829889c084373decf383c5078a83&oe=56009F5E


#20