The Tonight Show-1984



My two favorite Stephen Wright jokes (you have to use his monotone voice in your head for the full effect)

My friend calls me up and says “you haven’t called me in a while, why is that” and I said “Well, sorry, but my phone has no 7’s on it.” The friend says “That’s odd. How long have you had this phone?” and I said “I don’t know, my calendar has no 5’s.”

I was riding a ferris wheel with a stranger, and the stranger says “This is the first time I’ve ridden a ferris wheel in 15 years, do you want to know why?” and I said “Yeah” and he said “I was in prison, do you want to know why?” And I said “No” and he said “I pushed a complete stranger out of a roller coaster for no reason” and I said “I remember you.”