Todays Funny


#302

image


#303

I’m missing Lotus while watching this.


#304

Here’s one for @PissedOffLady69

image


#305

That was nice, but the angle of the shot could use some work. :wink:


#306

image


#307

My aunt Gloria, who’s lived in California for over 30 years, still retains her Quincy, Mass accent. So I can hear what ^^^^^ sounds like.


#308

image


#309

image


#310

image


#311

I was sitting on the toilet at 11:59 PM and the clock struck midnight…

I thought to myself, “Same shit, different day.”


#312


#313


#314

An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course and heads straight to the bar/restaurant area of the club house.
As he passes through the doors, he spots a sign hanging over the bar that reads:

COLD BEER…$2.50
HAMBURGER…$3.50
CHEESEBURGER…$4.25
CHICKEN SANDWICH…$4.75
HAND JOB…$150.00

Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary money, the Elderly Golfer walks up to the bar & beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers.
She glides down behind the bar to the old golfer.
“Yes?” she inquires with a wide, knowing smile. "May I help you sir?”
The old golfer leans over the bar and whispers,
“I was wondering young lady, are you the one who gives the hand jobs around here?”
She looks into his wrinkled eyes and with a wide smile purrs,
“Yes sir, I sure am. I give the best hand jobs around.”
The old golfer leans in even closer and into her left ear says softly,
“Well then, be sure to wash your hands real good, because I want a cheeseburger.”


#315

Keef Richards with his two daughters.

Just think, when they die he will inherit everything.


#316

I think it’s time we have a real discussion about the kind of world we’re leaving for Keef.


#317

image


#318

image


#319

Good Morning Boston, it’s time to wake up and taste the coffee.


Just keep smiling, no one will notice.


#320


#321