Last night, before I went to bed, I shaved one leg so it would feel like I was sleeping with a woman.
I filed my own income tax form this year.
I'm getting back four million dollars.
Why can't you use 'Beef Stew' as a password?
Because is not stroganoff.
When I get home im going to tear my wife's bra right off
The straps are killing me
Someone just threw a bottle of omega-3 at me!
Luckily my injuries were only super-fish-oil
Life is hard in a band
Me and the guys started a rock band, we call it 999MB. But no matter how hard we look we cant find a gig.