Trump calms Guam Governor by telling him how good a nucular holocaust would be for tourism

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Yeah, everyone wants to spend his summer vacation on a lump of radioactive clinker.

Make sure your SPF is rated at about 8,000 or so.

Lordy. Honestly, I thought that was another Onion headline.

Hey, btw, is Trump putting the Onion out of business? I mean, they can’t possibly come up with anything that trumps Trump.