Apey, are you running a last-post tr0all or something?

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Possible withdrawal symptoms.

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Bass players NEVER get the Last Word, Apey. Some jazz bands, the bass player gets fined for attempting the Last Word.

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Bass player offenses/fines list

NAME OF OFFENDER _____________________________
DATE(S) _____ / _____ / _______

CLOTHING AND FASHION:
Wearing a beret on stage - $75
Tucking in polyester shirt between tunes - $15
Wearing old Victor Wooten tour t-shirt - $10
Wearing new Victor Wooten tour t-shirt - $20
Wearing Hawaiian shirt - $20
Wearing Hawaiian shirt from Wal-Mart- $50
Wearing Hawaiian shirt purchased at Wal-Mart en route to gig - $100
Wearing your belt buckle way off to the side - $50
Hair: perm, mullet, or spiked with gel - $50
Skull decals or flames painted on bass - $150
Black denim jeans: $20

SET UP:
Showing up before first ‘potato’ - $25
Playing loudly during warm up - $10
Sound-checking with slapping - $25
Setting up mic ‘just in case’ - $75
Forgetting to plug in bass - $40
Using a towel-wrapped SM57 as a stage mic - $50
Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip - $50
Asking fiddle player for help moving amp - $25
Bringing a solid wood bass to a bar gig - $100 per crack
Bringing more than 1 bass - $100 per extra bass

STAGE DEMEANOR:
Loud cursing after mistake - $50
Playing walking line over vocal - $100
Playing sixteenth notes - $10 each
Rushing tempo - $75
Dragging tempo - $75
Dragging ballad tempo - $100
Speeding up during guitar solo - $5
Blacking out during ballad - $200
Asking for numbers for “Fox on the Run” - $250
Asking for numbers for “Manzanita” - $400
Playing audibly - $25
Faking changes - $25
Slapping during lead vocals - $150
Missing intro, then mentioning vintage of bass - $25
Asking leader for a solo - $30
Soloing over chorus - $100
Playing solo with bow- $400
Continually asking “Where are we?” - $25
Continually shouting “Yeah!” during guitar solo - $50

BETWEEN SETS:
Experimenting with odd or crooked meters - $25
Changing strings between sets - $15
Telling guitar player about all the gigs you get - $10
Asking guitar player about his/her day gig - $10
Practicing scales during break - $100
Casually mentioning to band leader of ‘cool side gigs’ you’ve booked - no fine.
Asking when the Jaco set starts - $20

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lol