Coronavirus Cackles

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“I’d like one of the $13.00 Tune Up Kits?”

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I’m laughing with him, not at him.

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7 posts were split to a new topic: RE: coronavirus cackles

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Back to the cackles

  • My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

  • Jewish Irony: Passover canceled because of a plague.

  • Many parents are just about to discover the teacher is not the problem.

  • Sneezes went from bless you to fuck you real quick.

  • Reminder: 9pm is the time to remove your day pajamas and put your night pajamas on.

  • My cleaning lady just messaged to say she will be working from home and will send me instructions on what to do.

  • We’re about two weeks away from seeing everyone’s true hair color.

  • What’s worse: two masked guys trying to rob you or your unmasked pizza delivery guy?

  • I’ve almost completed my 90 day trial of 2020. How do I cancel?

  • Day 3 without sports. Found a lady sitting on my couch. Apparently she’s my wife. She seems nice.

  • Anyone else feel like life is being written by a fourth grader? “And there was this virus and everyone was scared. And then the world ran out of toilet paper. Yeah, and then there was like no school for a month.”

  • Anyone have a recipe to make toilet paper out of cauliflower?

  • If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14 day quarantine, you probably should have been seeing a doctor long before covid-19.

  • Looks like we’ll also need to bail out our political and science fiction writers, and retrain them to be historians.

  • Now that we have everyone washing their hands correctly: Next week-- turn signals!!!

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When I did a cartoon last week on Republicans and MAGAts now loving socialism, I asked the question, “How will they defend it?”

There are a lot of Republicans, libertarians, and Trump supporters who are mouthing that they’re not happy with the $2 trillion stimulus to float the economy through the coronavirus pandemic. I’m sure there are others who are unhappy with Donald Trump, after great pressure from the nation’s governors, activating the Defense Production Act and forcing General Motors to make ventilators, which I’m sure will be arriving in hospitals by December (Right now, GM is asking: How do we make ventilators? Also, What’s a ventilator?)

I commend those conservatives for at least sounding consistent because when I say they’re “mouthing” their disapproval with the stimulus, I mean that’s all they’re going to do. Because guess what they’re going to do when they get those checks?

If the checks go straight into their banks through direct deposit, they’ll probably argue that it’s a hassle to return it. If checks arrive in the mail, they’ll cash them. What will they purchase? Probably guns and beer.

I quickly discovered the answer to the question I asked last week. How will conservatives defend Republican socialism? I’ve heard them argue that it’s not socialism when it helps people who work for a living. I’ve heard it’s not socialism because it’s helping “real Americans” and “Patriots.” I’ve heard it can’t be socialism if Donald Trump supports it. And I’ve heard, it’s not socialism because we’re in a national emergency. It’s a crisis.

But the socialism Bernie Sanders proposes, democratic socialism, is designed to help people in emergencies. It’s an emergency when you don’t have healthcare. It’s an emergency if you can’t pay your rent because your wage is too low. It’s an emergency that corporations are given huge tax breaks and don’t use it to invest in the economy. It’s an emergency when you can’t feed your kids. It’s an emergency when you can’t afford heat. It’s an emergency when you’re forced to pay ridiculous interest rates to get an education.

Donald Trump has said more than once that “America will never be a socialist country.” MAGAts love to compare Bernie’s socialism to Venezuela. Now, they’re watching Donald Trump nationalize an American corporation. Now, they’re all going to be cashing checks. from the government for work they didn’t do. America has always been a socialist country. They always argue against “free stuff,” but they’re the same fuckers who voted for a guy who promised a free wall.

How will Donald Trump run for reelection without complaining about socialism? Donald Trump is socialism.

I know the answer. They’ll say it’s not socialism when it helps white people.

~Clay Jones

It was pointed out to me that if you leave a 6’ circle around you in public, that amounts to approx $195,000 in NYC real estate values

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