Marital Mirth

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Wife got her test results back. We thought she had Tourette’s syndrome. Tests were negative.

Turns out I am a cunt & she does want me to fuck off.

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Thoughts and prayers for my puppy Sadie, she may have overdosed on sea water, hope she doesn’t call Buick over in that corner again.

Interesting choice of thread. Should we set up an intervention?

Also I hope she feels better quickly

Oh my gosh.

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Maybe she’d feel better after a nice chuuuuuuuuck roast from your local Raaaaaaaaalllllph’s

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My Guardian Doggo, is back on point resting comfortably on the floor, yet maintaining an alert vigilance for any birds, squirrels, hamsters, or racoon’s(no racist)

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As me and the missus headed off on a romantic holiday, we talked about what kinky things we’d like to do to each other. She said, “I’ve always wanted to be handcuffed.”

So I planted a kilo of cocaine in her suitcase.

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Why a man would want a wife is a big mystery.

Why a man would want more than one wife is an even bigamystry.

Many men say having two wives is one too many.

Some men say the same about having one wife.

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My therapist told me, “You have an acute phobia of marriage. Do you understand the symptoms?”

I said, “Can’t say I do.”

My therapist said, “Yes, that’s the main one.”

My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner.

So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.

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