My neighbor

Lydia, our neighbor of about a year or so, had some form of dementia (found out today). We’ve only known her for about a year. She seemed a little strange when met her. However, as time has been passing she’s been getting stranger and stranger. Late last summer we saw her sitting in her car, listening to the music and seemingly talking to the tree in the strip between our homes. I told my family that she was probably wearing ear buds and talking to someone the phone. Well, after the same thing happened more than half a dozen times I realized she couldn’t possibly be on the phone each time.

Our dog was barking and she came to ask us to do something about the dog, she was sleeping. That was two Saturdays ago and it was about 7 pm, wasn’t even nightfall yet. She been somewhat of a Karen since she’s moved in and so went ahead and brought the dog in the house. Not every battle is worth engaging in.

I mentioned in another thread that I’ve been gardening, so I put together a hanging basket and hung it under the tree because it’s the perfect amount of light for the tree.

We came home a couple of days later after a Costco run. I went inside, my partner noticed that the hanging basket was on the ground. He assumed I put it on the ground for watering. He got it and was about to water than hang it up once again. Lydia comes over to him and tells him that he’d better not hang the basket up again. He said something like why not. She says it’s her tree and doesn’t want us to hang anything in her tree. It’s on our side of the property line, our basket, our tree. He tried pointing out where the property line was. She said, that doesn’t matter it’s my tree, as a matter of fact, the whole block is mine. He set the basket back down and walked away. He’s been saying she’s nuts, but thought she was off her meds or something.

We called the non-emergency police line to report the incident. She is walking onto the property and moving our stuff, we were concerned what she might do next. Don’t know if the police ever made it…but we decided not to fight over a basket.

Today, we’re outside cleaning the garage of some stuff…garbage and recycling day tomorrow, so we had some cardboard to get rid of. We’re working out there when we hear a commotion next door. Two women come running out of Lydia’s garage. Lydia is screaming obscenities at the other woman and throws a plate/platter…some piece of ceramic at her, narrowly missing the little boy that was here with us. My kiddo babysits this child. The boy’s father happened to be here at the time, and they both call 9-1-1.

I ask woman if she was hurt and if she needed any medical assistance. She said that she was okay, but apologized for her mother. She came over to talk to me, she was completely overwrought, poor thing. She tells me my mom has dementia. They (her and her family) noticed she was acting a little strange, but it seems they were in a bit of denial. She was "communing’ with nature, but suddenly her behavior has gotten irrational at a quicker pace.

Her mom comes marching out with the garbage cannister and almost falls down on the driveway, they have inclines and gravity was pulling it and her down. Woman says “Mom, careful, you’re going to hurt yourself.” and walks toward her mom. Lydia says “I don’t know who the fuck you are bitch, get the fuck away from me.” Ouch. I felt so sad for both parties.

I’ve never seen an elderly person with that kind of dementia before. She stomps back in her house. Her daughter, Martina tells me, she doesn’t recognize me sometimes anymore. I come over to check on her, but she’s really getting bad and violent at times. She didn’t know what to do. Lydia had been in the hospital until a week or so ago, and left without being discharged and she wasn’t even sure how her mom got home. Has refused to return to the doctor. Her car was recently impounded because she parked it somewhere she wasn’t supposed. Her attitude is that she doesn’t need a car nor does she need money. Martina was so distressed and said she didn’t know what to do, what her next steps should be.

I gave her a hug. I told her I’d worked in human services and that the local county jurisdiction had adult aging services and I could call and see if a social worker might be assigned to help her mom. She was super grateful and we exchanged phone numbers so I could let her know who to turn to for assistance.

Cops are driving up from the calls. Martina does off to talk to the police. They try talking to the mom and she slammed the door on the cops.
Lydia is completely belligerent.

Witnessing it first hand it makes the tragedy of dementia so clear. Lydia surely isn’t the mom she was to Martina maybe even a year or so ago. And Lydia’s confusion and pain must be deeply profound. The pain and sadness in Martina’s eyes is so profound. Lydia’s rage and confusion is very clear. What a terrible thing to happen to anyone.

I have been irritated, but quiet with her for the last year or so. I mind my business and try to go with the flow. But now that I know she’s so ill, I only feel compassion for both parties.

I don’t know what I’d do if that happened to people I care about.


Just a couple paragraph’s in and I was having taking care of my Mom’s final glide path of dementia flashbacks…that’s a tough one, but imo it sounds like that lady is “off her meds”

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I’m not sure she was on meds, it was only recently that she’s been hospitalized, etc.

Though I really don’t know.

All I know is that it’s sad to no longer know the person that used to be your parent/family member. It’s like their dead, but not.

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That sounds awful. My grandmother stopped recognizing everyone except her husband and children, but she was still kind and soft spoken. Dealing with a parent that’s lost both the plot and the self control must be horrifying.


I agree. It must be devastating and extremely stressful.

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along the way, in my case, Mom seemed to go in descending terraces, a 2-3 or three weeks +/- But her pov would change momentarily, several days she would come out of her bedroom and see me up and waiting for her, and she would say something like “Sir, do you know if they’re still serving?” “Not sure, I might be able to find some oatmeal with yogurt and banana you like” “oh I’d love that!!!” there were also times it was much sadder…

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Yeah, a woman I know has a mom with Alzheimer’s. Basically, she says you let them live in the world that they inhabit without constantly correcting their mistakes or forgetfulness. It only makes them more stressed and more difficult to interact with…

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Lydia came over and rang our doorbell to come fuss at us about a piece of styrofoam that didn’t fit in the garbage bin that was picked up this morning. She’s clearly looking for things to fight about. Jesus Christ on a hockey stick, this is irritating as hell.

Then she went to sit in the car to talk to the tree.

I am going to get an axe…I swear to Jesus… :rofl:

She’s not well… she’s not well… she’s not well… (deep breath)


Yeah, she caught me when I’m not at my best. I had a bad night’s sleep. Again, we did nothing but throw the styrofoam away now that garbage has been picked up.

Called Adult Protective Services though made a report. I hope it helps her daughter get guardianship over her.

I’m sure these things have to be documented to build a case move forward for guardianship.


Yes they do

Welcome @PurdyMurdy !

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Have you tried green noise, Oak?

As you know, I have a sleep number bed and can track my sleep quality. I have had bad sleep for weeks and found an app for green noise . Well, I searched on Apple Music and they had a playlist. I let it play last night and my sleep session was up to a 75 (86 is the best).


I just did a sleep test looks like I probably have a cpap gizmo in my future, I’m excited i hear those are chick magnets!

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I’ll try green noise tonight

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I’ll try that. I put my ear buds in last night listening to a sleep meditation, well it worked and I hadn’t expected it to work. Therefore, I woke up from the discomfort of the ear buds…lol

I can’t win! lol

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I second that.

Welcome to a spot for rational and reasoned discussion.

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I left mine playing through my iPhone on the charger. I woke up at 5 am refreshed, him snoring like a grizzly bear in the background, and was surprised it was still playing.

But I was awake awake last night and knocked out in 5 mins as opposed to the typical hour it usually takes. Could be a placebo effect or maybe the cryotherapy session I had recently. Who knows…. but anything is better than bad sleep.

I also like chakra healing playlists. EBS said to check out white and pink noises too.

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Are you banning me? :rofl:


Fuck around and find out!