Sporting humor

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Golf Quotes:

Three over today! One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool…

~ Baseball Hall of Famer George Brett

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula and I took a 7 to do that.

~ Sportswriter Jim Murray

The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play a bad lie.

~ Baseball Hall of Famer Mickey Mantle

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.

~ Actor Kevin Costner

I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par.

~ PGA Golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez

After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

~ PGA Golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.

~ Tom Weiskopf

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.

~ Lord Robertson

Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner… and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

~ Jack Benny

There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.

~ Ben Hogan

Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re the best.

~ Jack Nicklaus

The Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.

~ Billy Graham

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.

~ Bob Hope

While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake in a sand trap.

~ Henny Youngman

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball

~ Jack Lemmon

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives Both of them are so rich that neither of their husband’s work.

~ Lee Trevino



Ear the Word of the LORD.

We take a sand wedge and a golf ball and chip the ball out over a frozen lake!