My dad told me once, son, stay out of strip clubs or you might see something you shouldn’t. So of course, I went, and he was right.
I saw my dad.
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Welsh women are bad ass.
I was checking out a “sugar babies/sugar daddies” site recently and saw one gal’s profile (19 year old college student) whose subhead was “Terrified My Father Will See Me”
I sent her a message and told her it was the best profile I’d seen on the site, and changed my own subhead to “Terrified I’ll See My Daughter Here”
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If I had a dollar for every woman who thought I was unattractive, I’d be attractive.
Her profile said she wants a guy that makes her laugh
Unfortunately, she also said “No dick pics" so there goes that.
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I found my wife in bed with a judge. The judge said, " It’s not what it looks like!"
To which I replied, “Your honor!”
I’ve got a friend who weighs 280 lbs. and dates both men and women.
He’s bi and large, a good person
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What do you call the sexuality where you’re attracted to men and women but neither are attracted to you?
Bi-yourself.
What’s the difference between a Bud Lite and cunnilingus?
With cunnilingus only the first part tastes like piss.
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What do you call two gay women spying on each other?
Lesbianage.
Why is it so difficult to remodel X-rated theaters?
All the walls are load-bearing.
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Quick the two most famous Americans that got shot in a theater?
Lincoln, and the guy sitting in front of Pee Wee Herman.
Yeah, not as old as yuo!
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A gal my age that I went to Junior and SR High with, I was friends with her older and younger twin brothers as well, was built like that and actually had a reduction surgery in High School, because of back pains etc, she still looks pretty hot at 65.
I tried to have a threesome with two Eskimo girls
But they weren’t Inuit.