Paraprosdokians

These are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous.

Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you …but it’s still on my list.

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If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.
~Dorothy Parker

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Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

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If I had a dollar for every woman who thought me unattractive, I’d be attractive.

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War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

Knowledge, is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Every mushroom is edible at least once.

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If you laid all the world’s economists end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.

Everywhere is walking distance, given enough time.

My uncle’s dying wish was to have me sit in his lap; he was in the electric chair.
~Rodney Dangerfield

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